How to celebrate Christmas as singles

Merry Christmas!

How do you usually feel around Christmas?

Are you looking forward to it or dreading potentially uncomfortable situations that often occur at Christmas?

The holiday season can be a difficult time for us singles. Studies show that such seasons heighten feelings of loneliness. Similarly, the expectations and pressures on some mean this is one season we want to avoid.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. This year, I want us to try something different.

Five ways to enjoy Christmas.

1. Focus on the reason for the season

Simply put – Jesus is the reason for the season, everything else is a bonus including spending time with loved ones and enjoying gifts and events.

This Christmas, I encourage you to spend time with your saviour and friend. The best part is that he longs to spend time with us. He longs to reveal his plans and purposes for those who will wait on Him.

2. Spend meaningful and intentional time with your loved ones

We are not called to do life alone. This is not a reference to just romantic relationships but to the people – family., friends etc – that God brings into our lives.

Christmas presents a great opportunity to spend uninterrupted time with these people.
However, because of past hurts, miscommunication, and potential drama replete in these relationships, we may try to avoid them or reluctantly attend.
This year, I encourage you to approach these interactions with love and warmth.

I lost my Dad in January 2017. Little did I know that the 2016 Christmas would be my last with him.

Don’t take your time with your loved ones for granted.

3. Prepare for the uncomfortable questions and situations

You should expect that there will be people who will ask about your marital status and other aspects of your life. Prepare your mind for this and know how you want to respond before it happens.

This way you are not reacting to their words or actions but acting in the manner you have purposed. This has helped me countless times and has removed the usual friction or toxicity in family interactions.

See, some people will ask or say hurtful things, consciously or unconsciously. I need you to understand that they generally mean well even though their tone and manner may belie this.

Don’t let it get to you. Who they say you are does not define you.

Even if they remind you of people who are younger than you but seem to have achieved more, that’s okay. Remember that each one of us have our own paths and we are not in a race with anyone else.

What truly matters is that we are living the life God has planned for us.

For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”

Matthew 16:26

There’s no point chasing after what the world defines as success or accomplishment if these are not the things God wants for us.

Rather we should continually –

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and it’s righteousness and everything else will be added to you.’

Matthew 6:33

4. Do something nice for yourself + one other

Sometimes, Christmas sucks not because of what other people say or do but because of our tendency to overthink and be negative. This Christmas I want you to do something nice for yourself. To supercharge this, you could also do something nice for another person.

Here are some ideas:

• Go on a retreat
• Have a spa day
• Invest in that course or training you’ve been thinking about.
• Volunteer this Christmas – many non-profits and churches usually have events for the less privileged during the holiday season.
• Donate to a cause your love or are interested in.
• Buy someone an unexpected Christmas gift. Don’t dwell on what they will think, just do it, and move on.

5. Plan for the new year

There’s a tendency to complain about the challenges of the holiday season that we forget there’s a whole new year right around the corner.

This Christmas, why not take out a few days to plan for the upcoming year. I like to use the last few days of the year, to plan for the new year.

To make this even more exciting, do the ‘dream plan’ – write out everything you want to achieve in the new year – no matter how scary or impossible they may seem.

There is joy in every season

No matter what season of life you find yourself, be intentional about allowing God’s joy blossom. Remember that joy is not the absence of pain but the presence and acknowledgment that everything is in God’s hands.

In all this, I pray you:

• Extend grace to others no matter what they do.
• Overcome evil, hate, gossip with good, love and compassion.
• Be bold and unashamed. Live your life fully, don’t cower for anyone
• Cultivate gratitude. There’s the saying that ‘your attitude affects your altitude.’ I like to think our ‘gratitude affects our attitude, which affects our altitude.’ Gratitude makes room for you. It is a key part of your growth.