Something happened the other day that reminded me that some battles resurface when you least expect them.
I had been invited to a former colleague’s birthday celebration. This wasn’t just any colleague, it was someone I highly respected. I genuinely looked forward to celebrating them and saw it as a wonderful chance to reconnect with old faces, meet new people, and maybe even explore networking opportunities.
In my mind, it was going to be good for me. I spend so much time at home, so getting out, dressing up, and being around people felt like a step in the right direction.
But when the day came…I didn’t go.
The Spiral of Excuses
It started with my dress. The one I really wanted to wear did not fit(it had been made with the event in mind). I had another perfectly fine alternative hanging in my wardrobe, but instead of simply switching, I let the disappointment fester.
Then I added another layer, telling myself I wasn’t feeling quite “well” convincing myself it was probably better to stay home.
The more I thought about it, the more “reasons” I collected to justify staying put. They sounded logical at the time, but if I’m honest, they were just excuses in disguise.
Even as it was happening, I caught myself thinking: Why am I back here again? Why am I letting something so small hold me back?
Recognizing the Pattern
The truth is; that event would have been good for me. It wasn’t just about networking or catching up with people. It was about showing up for life, saying yes to opportunities, and refusing to let fear or inertia dictate my decisions.
Yet in that moment, I stalled my own growth. I let my comfort zone win. And here’s the hard truth: I self-sabotaged.
Self-sabotage doesn’t always look like open rebellion against God’s will. It doesn’t always look like big, destructive choices. More often, it looks like tiny, seemingly reasonable decisions that slowly rob us of the progress we’re meant to make.
It’s the “logical” explanation that keeps you from sending that application.
The “perfectly valid” reason to stay quiet when you should speak up.
The “sensible” delay in obeying what God clearly told you to do.
The Bible Warns About This
One scripture that captures this tendency for excuse is Proverbs 26:13:
“The sluggard says, ‘There’s a lion in the road! A fierce lion roaming the streets!’”
In other words, an excuse. A reason that sounds dramatic and urgent but is, in reality, a cover for inaction.
Or Hebrews 10:39:
“We do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.”
God calls us to be people who move forward in faith, not those who shrink back into the shadows of fear or comfort.
But the biggest thing this experience taught me is that the battle begins in our minds. We are constantly fighting the enemies penchant to mess with our minds. To whisper lies, half-truths and fears.
Even Paul in 2 Corinthians 10:5 reminds us that part of our spiritual warfare is taking every thought captive, especially the ones that subtly convince us to hold back when we should step forward.
How We Become the Weapon Formed against Us
Isaiah 54:17 says, “No weapon formed against you shall prosper…” We love to quote that verse, and it’s true.
But what happens when we are the weapon formed against ourselves?
Sometimes the enemy doesn’t have to do much, he just whispers, and we take it from there.
We talk ourselves out of blessings.
We convince ourselves the timing isn’t right.
We stay small because it feels safer than stretching.
And without realizing it, we derail our own journey.
Breaking the Pattern of Self-Sabotage
Here’s what I’m learning about dismantling self-sabotage:
- Call it what it is.
Excuses lose their power when we name them honestly. Was it really the dress, or was it fear? Was it really your “mood,” or was it discomfort about being vulnerable?
2. Invite the Holy Spirit into the moment.
I know this can be hard, especially when you’re spiralling, but before you decide, pause and ask, “Lord, is this wisdom… or is this fear?”
James 1:5 promises that God gives wisdom generously when we ask.
3. Speak the word over your situation and emotions
Counter your excuses and fears with the word of God. This is not a one- off excuses, but a continuous process of flooding your mind and heart with truth.
2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us that: “God has not given us a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind.”
4. Take small acts of courage.
Sometimes breaking self-sabotage isn’t about massive leaps. It’s about putting on the alternative dress and walking out the door. It’s about sending the message even if you feel awkward. Small wins build momentum.
5. Remember your “why.”
If you know that going to that event, making that call, or taking that opportunity aligns with your growth and God’s will, let that purpose speak louder than your fears.
My Takeaway (and Yours)
That missed event became a mirror for me. It showed me that self-sabotage can sneak in through the smallest cracks, and if we don’t guard our minds, we can end up blocking the very things God is trying to bless us with.
So I’m choosing to pay attention. To catch myself when “perfectly reasonable” reasons pop up. To take my thoughts captive before they turn into actions I’ll regret.
Because we are not called to shrink back. We are called to live fully, courageously, and obediently in every season.
If you’ve been holding back lately, even for what seem like “good” reasons, maybe this is your nudge to take that small step forward.
The dress doesn’t have to be perfect.
The circumstances don’t have to be ideal.
Just show up.
Leave a Reply