I was going to ponder about time but there really is nothing about time.
It is the one ‘constant’ thing – it cannot be stopped, shorted or lengthened- it continues nonplussed, but what changes is our perception of it.
So, today, I would like us to talk about something that has been happening since the beginning of time, even though we seldom acknowledge this.
The many ways we hide from God
Perhaps, you may believe you are straight up with God and hide nothing, but I do wonder how true this is.
Hiding is not just about our sins, but also about our shame, our fears, and even our gifts. We may hide from a deep fear of what stepping out will mean for us, what surrendering would mean.
Perhaps, you have had moments that you want to forget forever, experiences that had you asking ‘why me?’.
I know how hard those can be.
When in that place of pain or shame, we often want to hold on to the little dignity we have left. Control becomes the most important thing.
And going to God would mean letting go of our tightly wound pain, it will mean opening our hands, our hearts, and our minds to him. And that’s an impossible ask.
We may not understand why we need to reveal all or why he would ask that knowing all we’ve been through. Nor why he would even want us when no one else seems to, not even us.
And the hardest thing to accept is why he would still love us.
This incredulity keeps us at bay.
We justify our need to protect our fragile hearts. We equate our relationship with God with our relationships with others.
If they could break our hearts, leave, and shame us, why would God be any different? If they could remind us of all the ways we are less than, where we watch them excel but we continue to struggle, continue to grasp, holding tightly to the crumbs life throws our way. Why should we expect any different?
So, we hold back, tighten our fists, and buckle our hearts unable to let go.
We learned from the firsts.
We learned how to hide from first our parents – Adam and Eve.
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “where are you?” he answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
Genesis 3:8-10
Hiding seems easy. All we have to do is ignore the cries of our hearts, wear a mask and pretend, right? Yet we never feel better. The emptiness remains a gnawing hole waiting to be filled.
The truth is that it takes a lot to be vulnerable.
Even being able to share my story with you requires a dying to self. Do you know why I do it, why I continually show up bare? Well, it’s because of His grace. A grace soaked in love and mercy. A grace that reminds me that I have been set free and have been given an incredible opportunity to share and encourage others.
For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sister. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.”
Galatians 5:13
Go to the one who is the answer to everything
We have a father who can set us free. He is the shepherd that will leave the ninety-nine and go after the one. He will never leave nor forsake us.
In our cycle of pain and shame, we often forget that God already knows. We can’t hide from him. As he called Adam and Eve, he continually calls each of us back to him.
Whatever happens, please don’t hide from the one person you need.
The one who has the power to save you from yourself. Your sin is not unforgivable, and neither is your shame nor fear insurmountable.
I hope you commit today to lay it all before His throne of grace and watch Him do what only he can do. Amen
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