Some tough love for today’s Christian Woman

Hello sweet friend, there are a few things I would like us to talk about, things we both know but probably don’t hear enough or are quick to forget. It’s about being honest and open.

Do you ever wonder why there aren’t more Christian women having open and honest conversations about their lives and struggles? I definitely have and think it’s time we bared it all; the good, the bad and the downright ugly.

Which means we should welcome some tough love. And so long as you’re still reading, I will like to dish out a few bitter pills we all have to swallow(yes, they are good for you) 🙂

Here are four things I need you to remember today and for the rest of the year.

1. Don’t do it for the “Likes” 

Be authentic! Strive to be true to yourself and reflect your values. Don’t do it for the applause, for likes, for popularity and all the many reasons we lose our realness and authenticity. As someone trying to survive on social media, I can tell you it has been a struggle finding and keeping my voice.

If there is anything we should strive to do, it should be to live authentic Christian lives.

Review your actions and be open to making the required changes to ensure your life is aligned with your values.

“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.”

Galatians 6:4

We were created to live free from envy, from comparisons, and from pride. A life where we are true to the woman God has called us to be and are not saddled with the unfair pressures and expectations the world has placed on us.

2. Don’t spend what you don’t have 

Are you guilty of spending more than you should? Me too, I believe almost every one of us has done this. What about spending on the wrong things?

“Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labour on what does not satisfy?”

Isaiah 55.2

This scripture says it better than I could. Have you ever wondered why we spend on things that don’t matter and leave the things that do? This is one of those life’s abnormalities and reminds me of Apostle Paul’s words in Romans 7:15:

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

This struggle is real and made worse by a world that encourages materialism, narcissism and covetousness.

This is also amplified through social where we are constantly inundated with beautiful clothes, homes and lives.

Interestingly, even the ‘godly’ things can become a stumbling block to managing our money. You may like your friend’s pretty Bible that makes Bible journaling a breeze or all those beautiful inspirational messages you need to keep you motivated all through the day.

Working through this requires honesty and discipline. We need to remember that money is a finite commodity and needs to be utilized appropriately.

This may mean asking ourselves the hard questions:

“Do I need this?”

“what would be the benefit/cost of buying or doing this?”

“Will buying this deprive me of spending on the things that matter?”

Consequently, we have to embrace periodic reviews of our wants and needs so these are aligned to our values and our life as God’s children.

 

3. Stop trying to prove a point

I know some of you are Bible scholars, prayer warriors and just amazing women of God. However, there is a tendency that we may go overboard in our pursuit of justice, of impartation and of evangelism.

This one has been particularly difficult for me as a Christian woman who happens to be a lawyer. There have been many times when I continued to predicate just to win an argument or prove a point. I know I did this severally while having gender-based discussions with men and women.

But I quickly realized my tone and manner were having the opposite effect. Instead of getting people to understand and accept, I noticed that they were getting defensive and sticking to their opinions.

We need to approach these issues with empathy, with wisdom and patience. Even if you believe the opposing view is wrong, how about you listen first rather than rush in to “clarify the issue”, how about you try to find out why they have these opposing views rather than silence them? I have been trying this new approach with wonderful results.

“As the Lord’s servant, you must not quarrel. You must be kind toward all, a good and patient teacher.”

2 Timothy 2:24

Recently, I heard a lady tell a gathering of people that God doesn’t need us to fight his battle. I agree he is quite capable!

We need to let go of this logic that a contrary opinion means an attack on God’s kingdom. We are called to walk in obedience and even when we think we are not getting the response we expected, it is not for us to force it and make everyone agree to our viewpoint. Let God be God in our lives and let him change hearts and minds as only he can.

 

4. Dear Christian woman, it’s not about you 

I will be the first to confess that this has been a tricky one for me. In a world with over 7 billion people, it is obvious that there is more to life than our issues and quirks. However, these issues are so personal to us that it can be hard to look beyond them.

So, what do we do?

We embrace both. We recognize that we are one of many but not overlook our own needs. To do this, we need to realize that we are stewards and trustees of our lives and will be required to give an account of how it was spent.

More than this, living a God-centered and intentional life means, when we face trials and overcome, we pay it forward. We use it to help others.

“Don’t act out of selfish ambition or be conceited. Instead, humbly think of others as being better than yourselves.”

Philippians 2:3

God didn’t create us to live in a vacuum, he created us to live independent and interdependent lives.

I also say this as a single woman who has been called to encourage other single women. I’ve realized that focusing on what I didn’t have made it difficult to see the big picture, to see God plan for my life and other wonderful women.

Too many of us are so focused on what we don’t have, and this makes it hard to focus on the one who created us. For some it may be a husband, for others children, money, great careers and many other things we believe are required for a complete life.

Focusing solely on ourselves also means a constant race for perfection and for everything to be alright but this will never be the case. There is always something waiting at the next bend. But we are not alone in this, we have been assured by our God that he has good plans for us, to give us a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11.

We have to lift up our eyes from our pains and struggles, to the hill, for there, our help lies and our work starts.

Your call as a Christian Woman

We have been called to live a life of love, a life of forgiveness, of goodness, of diligence and of self-control. We are to be God’s light in all we do and a need to remember to continue to use our lives as God’s canvas.

I pray you are encouraged to continue to pursue God with all you have and all you are.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable –if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Philippians 4:8

 

You are dearly loved I hope you never forget that.