What love should come first?

On Monday, I published a post on ‘How to find love’ and when I sent out the newsletter a few days later, I realised that the message could be easily misconstrued. Perhaps, you also read it and thought I was referring to a romantic relationship.

I wasn’t.

I was referring to the greatest love story this world has ever known. The love of our heavenly father for his children.

And the reason for this emphasis is twofold.

 

1. Living in God’s love changes us

Over the past few weeks, I have been reminded time and again of God’s incredible and life-giving love. These reminders were a powerful boost to my daily life. I was able to address things I would normally avoid and ignore. More so, I took some time to explore the depth and nature of this love. One of the biggest sources was in reading A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson (I can’t recommend this enough). You can read more about the beauty of His love in this post and this post.

 

2. His love must come first!

The second point is that I believe we must get the first and most important love relationship right before we seek a God-ordained romantic relationship. I want to spend a bit more time on this second point.

As single women, one of our biggest desires is to be married. We long to be happily married not just married. We want to build a life with a man who loves the lord and is submitted to the Holy Spirit. This is an incredible dream, and one I also pray for.

But I have learned that if we are not in the right place – in spirit, soul, and body – we may not even realise when we have found such a person, or if we do, we may self-sabotage due to some unresolved issues.

Perhaps this was not what you were expecting when I broached this topic, but I hope you take a moment to ponder this point.

Let me clarify:

until we understand our place as God’s beloved daughters and walk in the fullness of this calling, we are likely to miss or mess up any ordained relationship or marriage.

Yes, every marriage (or relationship) takes two people to make it work. But how many of us can boldly say we did our part? That we were an extension of God’s plan on earth.

I remember a section of Ms. Williamson’s book that struck me, I have included a snapshot of this excerpt below:

God’s love is paramount and until we understand and can walk in the fullness of this love, we will often flounder.

We will often act in unhealthy and selfish ways. Do you know why –

We will make the mistake of looking to our earthly relationships for what only our relationship with God can give.

We will look to men, to boyfriends, to husbands, and to fathers to give us what only God can give.

I heard something recently from Tiphani Montgomery (timestamp: 1.04.00)

“The reason I can stand boldly and not be afraid of being blackballed when I talk about things that many are afraid to talk about because they are afraid to lose their audience is because you can’t take nothing that my daddy gave me.

Before God perfected me in the office of the prophet, he perfected me in the office of a daughter.”

 

How incredible is this – our courage comes from knowing our place.

The Office of the Daughter

When we understand our position and identity as God’s daughters, we can better navigate every other relationship and position.

This does not mean we will be perfect or never get things wrong.

It means that we are walking and working from a place of knowledge so that even when we mess up, we know where to go and what to do to make things right.

More so, we also realise it is God who does the real work. He is the one who moulds and prunes us into all He wants us to be.

Sis, this is life-changing.

So, if you thought that I don’t want you married or that I’m teasing you with my words, I hope this has changed your mind.

Sis, I want you to live in the fullness of all God has for you, whether happily married or happily single. I want you to understand that you are the beloved daughter of the Most-High God.

I came across a song that captures this perfectly.

It is called My Daddy, My Daddy by Sunmisola Agbebi and Lawrence Oyor. The beauty and simplicity of this song had me crying and testifying to my glorious father.

He is our daddy, and we are His baby girls.

I hope you never forget that. Amen