Qualities of a Godly Marriage

Last week, we shared a blog about three important ingredients that make up a kingdom marriage.

In that post, we defined a kingdom marriage as,

“a marriage that is called, ordained, and sustained by God for the propagation of his kingdom and to bring heaven to earth.”

 

We highlighted the three key stages from this definition:

1. CALLED
2. ORDAINED
3. SUSTAINED

We also discussed the first two qualities in that post (you can read the first part here).

In this post, I would like us to consider the third ingredient.

 

WHAT DOES “SUSTAINED” MEAN

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines sustained as something “maintained at length without interruption or weakening.”

While the Bible dictionary defines it as something “borne, upheld, maintained, supported, subsisted, suffered.”

You can imagine that a large amount of strength and dexterity is required for something to be maintained for a long time. More so, a certain level of resourcefulness is required to support and subsist for any length of time.

Now these are human-centric definitions. With God, there is no limit to time or resources.

There is no fear that He will get tired or run out of resources required to sustain a marriage called and ordained for His purposes.

 

HOW IS A KINGDOM MARRIAGE SUSTAINED BY GOD

In Genesis 2: 24, we are introduced to a mystery which invariably separates a marriage relationship from any other human relationship on earth. It says:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Genesis 2:24

The Apostle Paul further expatiates on this in Ephesians 5, I have reproduced this below:

 

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”

Ephesians 5:28-32 NKJV

 

A kingdom marriage typifies the relationship between Christ and the church. A relationship that is characterised by the following:

Christ, our Saviour:

• Unconditional love
• Sacrifice
• Provision
• Death

The church:

• Surrender
• Trust
• Obedience
• Honour

As Christians first and as women, we know how hard it is to do any of these things. How hard it is to love fully, to respect others no matter what they do.

Yet, a kingdom marriage is one where we exemplify the relationship between Christ and His Bride (the church).

It is one where the husband loves His wife and would give his life for her. It is one where the wife honours and obeys her husband as unto the Lord.

And divine harmony is possible when both parties are doing their part.

And this is the dilemma; how do we do our part?

How, as Christian women, can we honour and respect the man God has for us, especially when we believe he is not doing his part?

The short answer – God

 

This is the mystery of why a kingdom marriage will always work. This is because neither party is trying to do anything in their strength but are both submitted to the power of the Holy Spirit.

And the reality is that this is not a one-off experiment but a daily exercise of handing off our will, our flesh, and our need to be controlled to the One who holds all of life.

God is the only one that can sustain a marriage without “weakening”. He is able and willing to empower His children to do all He has called them to, including in the marriage he has ordained.

More so, He is the One who calls us to do our part even if the other person doesn’t.

Here’s one of the practical realities of a kingdom marriage and why I believe in it:

When you know that your marriage is called and ordained by God, you can go to God when your spouse is acting in a manner that is opposed to His word. Rather than taking offence or getting into a fight, speak to God about the situation first. Get heaven’s perspective on the matter before any interaction with your husband.

Let your Heavenly Father intercede in the matter and do what only He can do.

Of course, this is easier said than done, but as always, it is a continuous practice of laying down every aspect of our lives to God.

 

DAILY PRACTICES OF A KINGDOM MARRIAGE

A kingdom marriage requires that we:

1. Spend time in prayer.

Prayer builds our spiritual bank and our level of intimacy with God. We know Him more as we seek and listen to Him more.

 

2. Meditate on God’s word.

It is the truth of God’s word that liberates us and lessens our need to be validated or proclivity towards offence.

 

3. Worship your father.

Worship changes our perspective and calms our fears. It gives room for gratitude and a mindset shift.

 

4. See your spouse as a beautiful, purposeful, and imperfect gift from God.

How you see your spouse determines the level of peace and joy in your home. If we are quick to point out their flaws and imperfections then this creates feelings of being short-changed, unhappiness and strife. But imagine if we cultivated gratitude. If we spent more time seeing the good, thanking God for them and showing them our appreciation?