Okay, I’m about to say something that might ruffle a few feathers.
What if what you think you want is the very thing you don’t need?
The other day, I watched Irish Wish, a rom-com starring Lindsay Lohan. It’s the kind of movie you watch when you need something lighthearted with a little magic. In it, Lindsay’s character is secretly in love with a charming author she works with. Before she can tell him how she feels, he falls for her best friend, and they get engaged.
Ouch, right?
But it gets interesting. Just days before the wedding, she makes a whimsical “Irish wish” and wakes up as the bride-to-be. She got the guy. Her dream came true. But as the wedding approached, it became painfully obvious: they aren’t truly compatible. In fact, he’s still very much the same man, but now she’s seeing him more clearly, and it’s not quite the fairy tale she imagined.
She got what she wanted, but it wasn’t what she needed.
And that got me thinking about my own crush era. You know the one where you have daydreams so vivid you can practically hear the romantic soundtrack playing in the background? I remember this one particular guy who starred in my daydreams. I was so sure he was “the one.” Then I had a real conversation with him.
Let’s just say…reality popped the bubble real quick.
It wasn’t that he was unkind or rude. He just wasn’t it. And I realized I had been falling for the idea of him. The version of him I had created in my head. The fantasy.
Have you ever been there? So sure someone was right for you, until you actually got to know them?
Looking back at my own life, the stories of women I’ve spoken with, and yes, even the characters in rom-coms, I’ve come to learn a few things:
1. We Often Want What Feels Familiar, Not What’s Best
Sometimes we’re drawn to patterns: looks, charm, charisma. But not all chemistry is kingdom chemistry. Some things we want are shaped by broken desires or cultural pressure, not godly wisdom.
2. God Knows the Full Picture
While we see snapshots, God sees the full timeline. He knows what aligns with our calling, our purpose, and our heart’s deep needs. His “no” is often a mercy, not a punishment.
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” Proverbs 14:12 (ESV)
3. The Real Thing Often Comes in Unexpected Packaging
Sometimes what’s best for us doesn’t look like what we imagined. But when God writes the story, it may start with surprise but end in peace and joy.
4. Your Desires Matter, But They Must Be Surrendered
Desire isn’t the enemy. But when it rules us, we risk disappointment. When it’s surrendered, God can reshape it into something better.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
So here’s my encouragement to you, sis:
If you’re still waiting, still praying, still hoping, don’t lose heart. But also, don’t cling so tightly to the idea of what you want that you miss the beauty of what God is building in your life.
Sometimes unanswered prayers are divine protection.
Sometimes the “wrong one” is a mirror showing us who we’re becoming.
And sometimes, letting go of fantasy is the first step toward receiving something real
Have you ever looked back and thanked God for not giving you what you once begged for?
I’d love to hear your story.
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