Relationship tip 3 – Be sincere with your words.

Today is Day 3 of our Relationship Secrets for Christian Singles. You can check out Day 1 and Day 2 here.

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One common marriage and relationship advice is the need for couples to communicate.

This is nice-sounding but often generic advice. Yes, couples should communicate more often and better, but what does this mean?

When we say ‘be even with your communication’ we are not referring to odd and even numbers. ??

We are rather referring to the ‘sincerity’ of our communication.

It’s not just about talking more but about what we say, how we say it, and how it affects our partner.

This means we should:

‘Say what we mean and mean what we say.’

Do you often try to be clever or sarcastic? Do you say yes when you really mean no, or give evasive answers to clear questions?

One of the running jokes is that when a woman responds to a question of ‘how are you?’ with ‘fine’ things are hardly ever fine. The lack of clarity ends up causing confusion and tension in the relationship.

There is also the tendency of expecting our significant other to know what we want or to decipher our thoughts without us having to say anything. We expect them to know what matters to us when we may have never articulated this.

It’s good to remember that the only one with undisputable mind-reading skills is the Holy Spirit.

Communication is better when it is courteous and respectful. We can’t insult them or use hurtful words and then claim to be joking, making the other person seem less accommodating when in fact, we have been less than honourable.

Another funny thing I’ve noticed is when people say “I want to apologise” but never actually do.

My people, “I should apologise, or I want to apologise” are actually not the same as “I apologise.” The former are intentions, while the latter is an expression. If you want to or believe you should apologise, then do it! Don’t beat around the bush.

It will also show how mature and honourable you are.

 

Check our body language.

I read somewhere that communication is mostly non-verbal. Our expressions, gestures and movements say more than our words.

Imagine apologising to your partner while you are scrolling through your phone or organising your space.

The fact that you can’t give them your undivided attention at such a delicate moment signifies a lack of truth and intention. You’re simply paying lip service with your apology but don’t mean it.

Check our vocal tone.

How do you communicate? How do you use your words?

Our tone is about the “style and manner of expression in speaking and writing.” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Here’s how the Bible puts it:

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverbs 15:1

Do you usually find that you’re frustrated or easily irritable when communicating with your partner?

Ask God for the strength to be patient with them, and the grace to see things from their perspective. This is a game-changer.

 

PRAYER

Lord, I thank you for this relationship. Thank you for connecting me with your son. Father, I ask for the wisdom and humility to communicate in a manner that pleases you. May my words be seasoned with grace and filled with love. May my actions correspond with my words, leaving no room for confusion or distrust.

Father, may we continue to build on this gift you have given us and may it all be to your praise and glory. Amen