Every relationship, whether dating, engaged, or married, comes with demands.
There will be responsibilities, expectations, and countless to-do lists.
Sometimes, it’s so easy to get caught up in those demands that we neglect the very thing that gives our relationship life in the first place.
The idea of keeping first things first is simple but profound: Remember what matters most and hold on to it no matter what.
Your First Priority
For the believer, the first thing, the central focus, must always be your relationship with God.
Jesus Himself said in Matthew 6:33:
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”
Your partner’s needs matter. The demands of everyday life matter. But they cannot take center stage. If they do, your relationship will drift off course.
Louie-Marie Mfon Mattias once wrote:
“Couples could practically sacrifice their marital satisfaction and companionship on the altar of the economic demands of the family.”
It’s sobering and true. Without realizing it, we can give the best of our time, energy, and emotional capacity to jobs, projects, children, or ministry, leaving little room for nurturing both our spiritual life and our connection with our partner.
Life will throw curveballs; unexpected bills, health challenges, misunderstandings, or even seasons of distance. But if you remain aligned with God, you will be able to navigate these with grace and resilience.
Why Keeping God First Changes Everything
Here are five powerful reasons to keep your mind and life centered on Him in your relationship:
- He Helps You Love Your Partner Well
No one understands your partner better than God. Psalm 139 reminds us that He knows our thoughts before we speak and sees our hearts fully. When you stay close to Him, He will show you how to love your partner in the way they truly need—not just in the way you think they should be loved.
2. He Gives You a Lighter Burden
In Matthew 11:28–30, Jesus calls us to lay down the heavy, man-made burdens we carry. Burdens rooted in people-pleasing, fear, pride, or unrealistic expectations.
When you allow Him to define what truly matters, your relationship is freed from the pressure of trying to meet the world’s shifting standards.
3. He Strengthens You for the Journey
Marriage (or the journey towards it) is a beautiful blessing, but it is also a spiritual assignment and the enemy would love to destroy it. 1 Peter 5:8 warns us to be alert because our adversary is looking for someone to devour. Staying close to God is how we remain spiritually equipped and emotionally steady.
4. He Heals Your Heart
Many of us carry wounds from the past; childhood pain, broken relationships, betrayal. Those wounds, if left unhealed, can sabotage how we love today. In Psalm 34:18, we are reminded that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Healing is not optional if you want a healthy relationship, it’s a must.
5. He Directs Your Steps
Proverbs 3:5–6 tells us to trust in the Lord with all our heart, acknowledging Him in all our ways so He can make our paths straight. God is the ultimate guide, through mountaintops, hills, and valleys. Without His direction, our relationships are left to guesswork and impulse.
Choosing Right: Mary and Martha
The story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10 is always such a humbling reminder of how easy it is to get things wrong.
In Luke 10:38–42, we see Martha was busy serving and meeting the demands of the moment, while Mary sat at Jesus’ feet, listening to His words. If we are being honest, our society would have praised Martha and derided Mary, but our Lord and Saviour showed us another way.
Jesus gently corrected Martha, telling her that Mary had chosen “the better part” by keeping first things first.
This story isn’t just about personal devotion; it’s a reminder that even in relationships, it’s easy to be “busy” yet miss the better part; being in sync with God.
Bringing It Home
It may sound obvious to keep your relationship with God central, but in practice, it requires intentionality.
If you truly believe God connected you with your partner, then go to Him first as you seek to live and love together.
Genesis 2:18 tells us, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” That union was God’s idea from the very beginning—and
He knows best how to help it flourish.
Keep first things first.
Keep God at the center.
And you’ll find that everything else in your relationship finds its right place.
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