Qualities of a God-ordained marriage aka a kingdom marriage

A kingdom marriage is nothing without God.

We can’t even call it a kingdom marriage if God is not a part of it.

Let me rephrase, a kingdom marriage is not like any other kind of marriage.

It is not about two people who decide to get married and then bring God into the picture by having a church wedding or a blessing. No, kingdom marriages are on a whole other level.

Through spiritual insight and meditation, I believe God gave me the following definition of a kingdom marriage:

It is a marriage that is called, ordained, and sustained by God for the propagation of his kingdom and to bring heaven to earth.”

That’s a tall order.

You may have noticed the three stages of a kingdom marriage. It is:

1. CALLED
2. ORDAINED
3. SUSTAINED

In the past few months, the Lord has used the story of the first marriage in the Bible to teach me about his original design for this institution. I will attempt to explain each stage below:

 

HOW IS A MARRIAGE CALLED BY GOD

To call is to incept something or to bring it into being. Marriage is called by God if He is the one who initiates it. Here are His glorious words, in the beginning:

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Genesis 2:18

It was God who realised that Adam was missing something. He is the one that initiated the process that culminated in the marriage of Adam and Eve.

But here’s the reality; while God may reveal a certain person to you, it will always be up to both of you to not only understand God’s word concerning the nature of your relationship but to obey it.

He will not force any two people to get married.

Also, the fact that God has called two people together doesn’t mean that they will align their lives in accordance with His word. They may adhere to His call but not to His ordainment.

There is a scripture which says:

For many are called, but few are chosen.”

Matthew 22:14

You can read the rest of the parable here for context.

Even where God calls you, you may not choose his way or he may not choose you (where you fail to surrender and obey. King Saul is an example of this).

 

HOW A MARRIAGE IS ORDAINED BY GOD

The second step in a kingdom marriage is the process of ordination.

This is a public consecration of God’s call on both of you. It is the culmination of the call into a marriage.

And here’s the truth; this is a journey of death and sacrifice. It is a journey of surrender, of laying down your will and taking on the Lord’s will.

It will require absolute trust in God and in His process.

For many, this is often the hardest hurdle for two main reasons:

1. God’s timing is different from ours. It may require a long wait, which is often exacerbated depending on our age, status, and purpose in life (even though a 1000 days is but a moment to our God).
2. God’s choice may not be what we want at the initial point or there may be too much friction with the other person which may lead us to question God’s choice.

I recognise that these are valid and important reasons why we struggle to obey and I will unpack these in a separate post.

Here’s an important depiction from the first marriage:

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took on one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.”

Genesis 2:21-22

How God Created Eve

Have you ever wondered why God put Adam to sleep before taking out His rib or why God didn’t create the woman in the man’s presence?

Like me, you may have wondered about these things but never taken the time to find out why.

While pondering on these, a few thoughts came to mind:

1. Adam did not know what he needed but God did.
2. Adam would likely have spent that time asking God questions or trying to define what this other being should look like.
3. God created Eve in a separate place because creation is an intimate process. You may be asking God why he hasn’t brought the man but if you knew that God was working on each of you before He brings you together would you be more patient? Would you want to allow Him to do His good work? You probably would.
4. The rib transplant was not just a normal transplant, but the root of the connection Adam felt when he saw Eve. He knew her because a part of him signalled to her.

 

Did you also notice that God was so invested in the relationship that after He created Eve, He didn’t point out Adam and tell Eve to go to Him, but personally walked His daughter to her mate?

If that is not the most romantic thing ever, I don’t know what is.

I will repeat it for emphasis; the God of the Universe, the Alpha and Omega, the beginning, and the end, didn’t just create a helpmeet comparable to the man, but brought her to the man and joined them together.

He was the proud FATHER of the BRIDE.

I don’t know about you, but this was a profound revelation of God’s love, of our FATHER’S love.

And that is what I need you to understand.

God’s love for you is non-negotiable and His plans for you are for your good. You can bank on this forever.

However, our Heavenly Father did not promise us an easy ride. He is not one to leave us in our sin and selfishness but continues to refine us and to bring us into alignment with His purposes and plans for us.

In Part 2 of this post, I will explain the third step of a kingdom marriage and why this is a necessary weapon against the gates of hell and against divorce. But before then, please meditate on the below prayer:

 

A PRAYER FOR THE ONE CALLED BY GOD

Lord, I thank you for this moment of revelation and insight. I thank you that even before I was born, you had a purpose and a plan for my life. You have brought me on this earth not only to do life with you but also to do life together with your people.

Father, I accept your call on my life and I ask that you do with me as you have purposed. Lord, I pray that you continue to strengthen my mind and heart to work in alignment with your will.

May I ably discern what you are calling me to and who you have called me to. May I submit to your direction and allow you to lead me to the man you have for me trusting that in you, it will all end in praise. Amen