Five life skills to develop in your 30’s

Growing up, did you ever imagine what your 20’s and 30’s would look like?

I know I wanted to live a happy and meaningful life.

I wanted to be the kind of person who did things without obsessing about what others were thinking and saying. To live without fear.

Ha!

It all sounded well and good. But I didn’t always follow through.

I made excuses and took shortcuts, which often led me right back to where I started.

But a lot changed when I turned thirty.

The new decade was a wakeup call to re-examine my life and make some changes.

I wanted to live unafraid, to pursue my dreams and to do things that would make life better for others and for myself. And I knew I couldn’t just say these nice sounding things, I needed to live them.

I needed to make the daily choices that would lead me down the right path.

What about you?

How was the transition into your 30’s?

Did you also feel this huge burden to make life count? Did you, once again, recognise the brevity of life?

You probably did.

I hear this increases with each new decade.

And the truth is that there are many things we can learn to better navigate this decade (and every other decade of our lives). I thought to share a few of these with you.

Five skills to develop in your 30’s

Here are five skills to learn in your 30s

1. Clarify your values and beliefs

There are many quotes about the need to ‘know thyself’ and ‘be true to thyself’. In some circles, it’s a given that you have a personal vision and life commandments. But if you were to ask us individually, you may find that very few of us can articulate the things that matter to us and why they matter.

Your 30’s are a great time to get clear about what matters to you.

For instance, you may say you are a Christian. But can you really say why? Was it because your parents were Christians, was it what was expected?

Can you articulate what it means to be a Christian and how you want your choices and goals to reflect this?

I have found that it becomes easier to say yes or no to opportunities and choices that come our way when we know what we want and need, per time.

 

2. Be prepared

One thing the pandemic taught us is that anything can happen.

In some ways, there is no level of preparation that would have prepared the world for the maelstrom that was COVID-19.

That’s one way to look at it, but it’s not the full picture.

Preparation is not about eliminating every risk but rather about mitigating the impact of the risk.

One familiar story that comes to mind is that of the 10 virgins recorded in Matthew 25:1-13. Here’s an excerpt:

“At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. ² Five of them were foolish and five were wise. ³ The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. ⁴ The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. ⁵ The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.”

If you know this story, then you will recall that by the time the bridegroom came, the oil in their lamps were almost finished. The ones who had extra were able to refill and the ones that didn’t couldn’t join the banquet.

For me, the central part of this story is the fact that being prepared will often require hard work and sacrifice.

The wise virgins must have looked silly when the night started. Imagine them logging several litres of oil when they didn’t need it. But they still carried it knowing that the alternative would be far worse than carrying the extra weight for a few hours.

Being prepared is one of the greatest skills we can learn as it affects every area of our lives. It affects our:

• • Work output – it’s harder to contribute when you don’t know much about the area.
  • Finances – being prepared is like having savings and investments to cover unexpected expenses.
  • Career development – learning new skills and developing in our areas of interest.
  • Goals and dreams – being prepared means having a plan of action. What we want to do and how we will do it.
  • Relationships – don’t let the warm fuzzy feelings stop you from learning how to communicate effectively, how to be open and honest and how to support each other through life’s travails.
  • New businesses – before you go into a new business, you would want to learn more about running a business and about the industry you’re interested in.

 

 

3. Manage your finances

If you’re in your 30’s or older, then you’ve probably worked for a while, perhaps for over a decade. And you have hopefully learnt a few basics of money management. Even if you haven’t, our 30’s are a great time to re-set our financial health and make sure we are being good stewards of all we have been blessed with.

Here are the basics:

• • Manage your income (consider ways to increase your income and resources)
  • Spend less than you earn (use a budget to manage your expenses)
  • Pay off any debts or loans (especially those with the highest interest rates)
  • Save
  • Invest (in yourself, in assets and in others)

I share more personal finance tips here, and here.

4. Overcome the past

Another reality of being over 30 is that you lived experiences.

You have gone through stuff and probably have a few scars to show for it.

The danger of getting older is that we can get hung up on the past. On mistakes, missed opportunities and regrets, all the things that can stifle our present and future.

Growing up, I would often hear that ‘time heals all wounds’, but I have found this to be a BIG FAT LIE!

The human mind is like a pack of gigantic elephants, it can hold on to things and replay past events, over and over again.

I know because it once took me over 5 years to get over a 5-month relationship. And it wasn’t time that healed me.

Time doesn’t heal, God does.

Basically, it is not the time but what we do in that time.

Our 30’s present an opportunity to overcome the pains of our past and focus on our present and future, but this is not a given. It is a skill we need to practice with the help of the Holy Spirit.

 

5. Be Resilient

“Tough times never last, but tough people do”

Anon

Resilience is probably my favourite of all the skills I have mentioned. I also think it is one of the hardest life skills to cultivate. It is a skill we will always need no matter how old we are.

So, what word comes to mind when you hear resilience? Is it change, sacrifice, pain, strength, Brené Brown(Lol), being flexible, persevering or being unbreakable?

Webster’s dictionary defines resilience as “an ability to recover from and adjust easily to misfortune or change.”

Did you catch the “…adjust easily…”? Isn’t that amazing!

Being able to bounce back from challenges and unexpected situations is something that will always come in handy.

You may be wondering how to become more resilient. The Bible provides some answers:

• • God gives us strength to overcome

“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty of little. For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.”

Philippians 4:12-13(NLT)

• • A resilient person is grateful in all situations

“Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

• • A resilient person doesn’t lose their hope

“For I know the plans I have for you, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:13

Living life in your 30’s – Start where you are.

Maybe you’re reading this and you’re already at the tail end of your 30’s or perhaps, you’re not yet 30. No matter how old you are, the same logic applies – make the most of now!

The five skills I’ve shared can help you better navigate your present and maximise your future.

Here’s wishing you an incredible decade filled with God’s immeasurable grace and blessings.