Do you believe that God loves you unconditionally and died to save you from a life of bondage and hopelessness?
Do you live like you believe this?
I ask these questions because I have seen that many of us are still lost, we are still burdened by our past hurts and mistakes.
We walk around with this weight. An invisible weight so large it will cripple the average person but somehow, we are still trudging along this journey called life.
The burden is our constant reminder of all we’re not. A clear image of how we’ve failed and fallen short of the expectations we had for ourselves and those of others.
Yet we keep holding on to the weight, to the familiarity of pain and unease.
We believe it is an acceptable price to cover our shame and guilt. We go around in this manner, unable to truly live but also afraid to let go.
We are essentially broken.
See, our brokenness isn’t the problem, the problem is our unconscious need to remain broken. This sense that we deserve it and should endure it.
Do you believe you deserve to remain broken?
Choosing our brokenness over God’s freedom
Maybe, you’re wondering why I am delving into this sensitive and unwelcome area. You may even believe I have no business talking about it and I would totally respect that. Though I plan to continue and hope you read on.
I think many of us are human chameleons.
We keep holding it together, living in our own strength and hoping that nobody will see this deep pain and sorrow masked by our obligatory smiles.
Too many of us are broken, by past hurts, mistakes and regrets. We ignore these issues and refuse to deal with them, which only makes them fester. They keep growing till they have infected every area of our lives and relationships.
As single women, we may have allowed past relationships shape our worth and identity and this may have made it hard for us to date again.
In our bid to never be in the same position again, we say no to everyone even when our heart and spirit says otherwise. We tell God we never want to experience that kind of pain again forgetting that he is the one that heals us and makes us whole.
“Cast all your anxiety upon him because he cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:7
Lessons from a broken heart and spirit
Here’s one thing I’ve learnt: our past experiences can be a negative or positive learning curve.
I used to think learning from our mistakes was enough but then I realized that we can also learn in an unhealthy way.
Refusing to date for many years as a result of a bad breakup is certainly not a healthy response to a past hurt.
I had acted this way to protect myself but ended up creating a destructive and insular wall around me. Even when I felt God calling me out of my shell, I held on for dear life, not ready to go through the pain and regrets, again.
It’s similar to an entrepreneur who has failed at business and decides never to start another business. She certainly learned her lesson but took the last option.
How many times have we clammed up in the face of betrayal, infidelity and dishonesty?
Did you decide that the best way to deal with it was to never try again? Never loan them money, never believe what they say and never care so much because your heart will be broken?
I say these things from a place of deep sorrow, not just for my self but for every one of us still holding to these hurts, trying to do it in our strength and still believing that our brokenness is our burden to bear.
We can’t do it alone, it’s time to let God in and let the pain out.
Imagine if God had decided not to save mankind. If he had decided that we had broken his heart too many times and he couldn’t take the pain and ache again?
If he had decided that loving us was a risk he didn’t think, he could bear.
Thank God he didn’t. Thank God he loved us even when we didn’t and still don’t deserve it.
He set the example for us, that there is life after the pain and now, he needs you to lay your broken pieces at his feet. That you let him in and you trust him.
He is the only one that knows and understands your hurt and will never betray your trust.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18
God is close to the broken hearted
Dear friend, don’t go on this journey alone. Don’t believe the devil’s lies that you deserve it and you should continue to carry it.
Go to your father who is able to give you a peace that passes all understanding. Does it mean we get a jail-free card? Not at all, we need to lean on our ever merciful God and he will teach us the lessons from our mistakes in a healthy and growth-centred way.
“For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”
Hebrews 12:6
Everything he is doing for you is for your good and you need to trust him and seek him with all your heart.
“And we know that all things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28
You are dearly loved and I hope you never forget that.
Timberley says
God is close to the broken hearted….thank you for that reminder. I needed it today.