I think love and romance are two areas where Christians are not always sure of God’s stance.
Perhaps, you have wondered if God is interested in your love life and if He has a plan for your relationship.
I can certainly relate to this.
I believe there are two situations where we may question God’s interest, and even word, about our love life.
On the one hand, the reality of our status and situations may make us doubt that God is interested in our love lives. If you’ve been a Christian for a long while and you’re still single when you’d rather be married, you may believe God doesn’t care about your desire to be married (which can invariably be interpreted as God not caring about us).
Secondly, there are Christian circles where romantic love is often downplayed and given very little attention. In such places, the focus is often on spiritual fervency and gospel service with romance and sex depicted as frivolous and unimportant.
For anyone who has been a part of such groups, it can be difficult to imagine that this same God, the God that is all about diligence and service, will care about our feelings and the things that keep us up at night.
That he will want to learn about the deep longing within us to be known, accepted, and loved. The longing to join one body and heart with another.
The thinking in both instances is dangerous.
It can leave us with a lot of doubt and a myopic view of God.
This is why I decided to address this today as I believe we need some reassurance and reminders.
God’s plan for your love life
Our faithful and loving father is interested in sensual and romantic things, but he is not just interested in it for its sake, but according to his purpose and will.
We should not forget that the deep longing we feel was created by God and only he can fill it. Though in his love and majesty, he created marriage, family, and friendships as earthly means to temporarily assuage these longings.
Bible Verses about Love and Romance
Here are 5 scriptures that remind us that God is interested in love and romance.
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The call to leave and cleave
Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:24
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The joining of two
Therefore what God has joined together let no man put asunder.”
Matthew 19:6
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He makes room for companionship and intimacy
And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
Genesis 2:18
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The blessing
The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favour from the Lord.”
Proverbs 18:22
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There is a time and season for everything
Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.”
Songs of Songs 8:4
In Conclusion: God cares
For anyone who has ever felt like God has favorites and they are not one of them or who believes that God cannot possibly care about them, I need you to know that He loves you unconditionally and longs to bless you.
There is a popular scripture that says:
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.”
Psalm 37:4-5
God wants us to trust him with our hearts and our love life. He wants us to surrender these sensitive areas to him. Imagine being so engulfed in Christ that when the right person comes, they will literally have to ask God for your hand in marriage.
Okay, I will try not to romanticize this. ??
I’m just saying our hearts and desires are safe in God’s hands. So, let’s allow him to fashion out a beautiful story as only He can…
God very horribly Cursed me with singleness, even though i really hate being single and alone all the time. No wonder why i really hate all the holidays when they come around without a wife and family to share my life with.
Hey, Paul!
I get it. I’ve been single and alone for far longer than I ever planned, too. I don’t know if God played a role in it, though.
We live in a screwed-up world. There’s undoubtedly thousands, maybe millions of Christians who want marriage badly, but have been denied it by circumstance. Maybe it’s because of God’s will or specific plans. Maybe not, we can’t always know these things. It might not be your fault, or God’s fault, or women’s fault, or anyone’s fault.
I hate it too, a lot of the time, but don’t let the cirucmstances of our short time here on Earth shape the entirety of your thinking on this,
One way or another, this trial will be over soon.
Does God care about us? Absolutely! Does God care about our love lives? Maybe. Maybe not.
You write that many Christians have doubts about this idea, These doubts seem pretty understandable to me.
As far as I know, the Bible (well, Paul) encourages you to pursue marriage if you can’t handle singleness. The Bible does not, however, promise you success if you pursue this route. It might work out. It might not. When it does work out, and Christians do end up in lasting and happy marriages, they, understandably, tend to thank God for actively, positively “blessing” them, which He may well have done. If it doesn’t work out, they never seem to be able to figure out the mysterious “plans” and reasons” God apparently has in mind.
I think a difference in cultures can mke both biblical teaching and all the Christianese clichés so difficult to understand and apply to the single life. In biblical times, and for centuries afterward, marriages tended to be arranged in some way or other, with parents being much more involved in finding mates for their children. In modern times, we leave our kids on their own to figure all this stuff out. When they’re confused or discouraged, or feel hopeless about ever finding a mate, we “encourage” them by telling them not to worry, “God has a plan,” and “God has someone for you,” etc., even when we can’t possibly know these things for sure, and even when the Bible doesn’t contain those promises. I’ve also read that there’s more Christian girls in the world than there are guys. If that’s broadly accurate, it means not every girl will find a mate, no matter who much they want to. Is that part of God’s Master Plan, or is that just bad luck and a symptom of a messed-up world?
I know God says in Genesis that it’s not good for man to be alone, and that he made a helper for him. But that was before we decided to royally screw up a perfect world.
I do think that if you want to get married, you should pursue it. Become independent, find a decent and well-paying career, find a place of your own to live in, make sure you can provide for a family, etc. Interact with the opposite sex, develop social skills, etc. It might work out. It might not. But I don’t think we should pay too much heed to all the made-up Christianese dating advice that we’ve invented over the years, especially when the Bible doesn’t really back it up.
The idea that there’s a future spouse ready-made for every Christian single who desires marriage sounds great. I love that idea. It’s very appealing and very comforting. I do, however, have my doubts about whether it’s true. If that is God’s truth, though, well, why didn’t He inspire some biblical writer to make it clearer in His Word? There’s no biblical verse that backs that idea up.
If I sound like a bitter and cynical single, who struggles with loneliness most of the time, and has never enjoyed success with dating or relationships, it’s because I am. But when people spread unbiblical teachings about “soulmates,” and “God’s plan,” and “waiting on the Lord,” and other such inventions, other people believe them, and people still end up lonely, rejected, and hurt, it does make you question those teachings more and more.