How to prepare for marriage

One of the secrets to a Christian relationship and a kingdom marriage is to be prepared for it.

Preparation is the pathway to understanding and flourishing in what you are praying for. It is a bit more than that – it is the assurance (but for the grace of God) that you will pass the test.

The importance of preparation was highlighted in the parable of the 10 virgins.

 

Lessons from the Parable of the 10 Virgins

The actions of the five wise virgins and the five foolish virgins show us that:

1. Preparation is an additional responsibility.

The 5 wise virgins had to carry extra oil, imagine that this meant their burden was heavier, they probably looked foolish, tagging all that long, but when the moment of the test came, they passed.

 

2. Preparation is an essential war strategy –

You don’t go to war without considering possible challenges. The 5 wise virgins considered the possibility of the bridegroom arriving late. This necessitated the need for backup in case it happened.

In Relationship Secret  14, we mentioned that the devil and his demons are prolling looking for relationships and marriages to destroy. Preparation is putting on the full armour of God to decimate the enemy’s attacks on your relationship.

 

3. Preparation brings peace.

Preparation reduces anxiety and fear. It diminishes the need to overthink and worry. While we cannot prepare for every eventuality, we trust that the Holy Spirit is teaching us foundational principles to overcome any obstacles that come our way.

 

4. Preparation is an ongoing process.

As mentioned above, you don’t prepare once for every eventuality, rather you continue to grow and learn. But having a mindset of preparation and learning is a game-changer.

What does preparation look like for you?

The preparatory process will generally look different for each of us. While there are some general things we need to learn, there are also other things that are personal to us. For instance, character development will usually depend on our areas of weakness.

1. Read and meditate on God’s word

So you want to be a good and godly wife but have you spent time reading about what the Bible says about this? Have you studied the book of Ruth, the book of Esther, the life of Mary the mother of Jesus and even the life of the Proverbs 31 woman?

It’s easy to desire another person’s blessing but miss the journey or work that was required. For instance, we read Ruth’s story and get caught up in how she met and married Boaz, and then miss all the incredible points to that story – the fact that Ruth was diligent, respectful, honourable, faithful & obedient to Naomi, a woman of ‘noble character’, and courageous.

 

2. Pray about your current and future seasons.

I once heard a statement from a popular man of God that has stayed with me, he said:

‘You don’t stop praying when you receive what you are asking for, you pray more so that you don’t misuse or lose what you prayed for.’

This stuck with me because I realised that I was guilty. I assumed that once God has answered, all is well and good, not realising that in receiving what I was waiting for, I have now passed into a new season that requires new prayers.

Perhaps, you have been asking God for a mate, and after you met someone, you stopped praying.

This is my encouragement not to tarry in the place of prayer. Ask God for the wisdom to navigate this new season, and the humility to steward it according to His will and precepts. Amen

 

3. Read books, take courses.

Motherhood is an incredible season, but it is also one that requires a level of maturity and capability. Have you been reading about this, or you will ‘wing it’ when it’s time?

Please equip yourself. You could consider learning more about the kind of woman you want to be. Maybe you want to be a homemaker, you could consider learning more about this.

 

4. Learn new skills!

Are you a good cook, can you balance your finances and invest your money? I remember a story of a woman who realised that all the skills she had been learning for years were in preparation for the kind of man she was going to marry. He was a very popular evangelist and speaker who had an international ministry, which meant they were always on the road.

For another person, it may have been tasking, but because of her background. She was able to flourish.

Ask God for the skills you need to learn as you prepare for married life. You may be surprised by what He reveals.

Imagine God telling you to learn an instrument to support your partner’s future ministry.

 

5. Seek therapy or counselling.

Preparation also means taking care of our mental and emotional health. It means dealing with pre-existing traumas and challenges. We spoke a bit more about this in Relationship Tip 13. You can read it here.

 

Count the cost!

Consider what is required for the season of life you desire and count the cost of flourishing in that season. May God strengthen and empower you through this process. Amen ??