Praying for your future spouse

For a long time, I didn’t believe in praying for marriage or praying for my future spouse.

I would usually shut out relationship advice or church events that were about praying for marriage. It took me many years to realize I had thrown the proverbial baby with the bath water.

I had allowed the unhealthy fixation and the relationship  pressures on single women to stop me from an act that could have immense value on my life, and the life of the man I will marry (if the Lord wills).

What about you?

Can you relate?

I am writing this today for the girl, who like me, didn’t fully understand the need to pray for their future spouse.

I am also writing this for the engaged girl who wishes to pray for her fiancé and future husband.

 

The reality of praying for an uncertain future

Most of us have a strong desire to get married but the truth is that we do not know if or when it will happen.

This means our prayers must be encased in our faith in God.

When we pray about something we want but do not know when or how it will come (which is probably everything, right???), we must trust that our gracious God will hear and answer us.

More so, we must trust that no matter how things unfold, it will all work out for our good (See Romans 8:28).

Do you agree?

If so, please continue reading.

 

Four ways to pray for your future husband

For anyone who has ever asked: How do I pray for my future husband?” Here are four things to note before you pray for your husband-to-be.

1. Be selfless in your prayer

Make it about him not about you.

If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you’ll know I’m big on selfless prayer.

I believe our prayers for others have power when they are dipped in unconditional love, and we do not make it about us.

Imagine praying for someone in your life and asking God to make them into who he wants them to be (not who we want them to be).

 

2. Be Comprehensive in your prayer

Pray about every aspect of his life.

This is probably a no-brainer, but I have noticed that when we pray about our relationships or a future spouse, there is a tendency to focus on the parts that directly affect us. This makes sense but we can take it up a notch by praying for every aspect of this special man’s life.

This is more poignant if it takes a few months or years before we meet him as we want him to flourish in all the things God places in his hand.

 

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3. Be specific in your prayers

I have a tiny confession – I am the queen of generic prayers.?

I would often gloss over matters rather than focus on or articulate the things I wanted God to do.

Before, I would pray like this: “Lord, give him a job and help him financially…”

These days, I’m more likely to say:

“Lord give him work/business in the right industry, let it be work that allows him to fulfill your purpose in their life. May he be a blessing there, give him great colleagues and a great office environment. May he…”

You get the gist.

Be specific about what you want God to do in your man’s life.

 

4. It must pass the “Gethsemane” test

This is perhaps the most important and hardest part of prayer. You probably know what I mean by the Gethsemane test, but I will go ahead and explain:

Our prayers are ultimately not about us. They are about God.

Jesus exemplified this in the garden of Gethsemane when he said:

Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.”

Luke 22:42 (emphasis mine)

All our prayers for a future spouse, including our desire to get married, must be subjected to God’s will and plan for our lives.

When you pray, don’t neglect to do this

You would have noticed that I have shared how to pray for your husband but not necessarily what to pray. For ideas on what to pray for the man in your life, check out this post.

Similarly, in praying for your future husband, don’t forget to pray for yourself as a future wife.

More so, you can use the above structure to pray for yourself – pray from a place of unconditional love for yourself (be kind rather than getting hung up on your past mistakes and regrets), and pray about every aspect of your life, not just the romantic parts, be specific about the changes you want God to bring about in your life, and finally, subject it all to His will. Amen