Four inspiring steps to overcome your struggles

I could feel it, the quick beat against the walls of my chest, fast and steady like the traditional drums of my people. At pace with my heart was my breath, in short, and impatient bursts.

I knew what was coming; I had memorized the sound, the sound that had my eyes looking everywhere but at my phone. At the reminder of another ill-advised ‘yes’, of my responsibilities and my discomfort. As is often the case, my eyes finally fall on my phone, to the caller ID clear against the lightened screen. A million thoughts flash through my mind and I whisper ‘not now’ as I feel the beginning of a headache.

You may be curious as to the cause of such a serious reaction and the simple answer is that I’m a homebody. I’m a member of the introverted group of people who would rather stay home than be present at social gatherings no matter how useful and well-meaning they may be.

While I share this story, I cannot deny that being a homebody has helped me in some ways and hurt me in others. It comes at a price, it has cost me some friendships and even questioned my character.

For a long time, I imagined this was my lot and there was nothing I could do. But like he always does, the Holy Spirit lovingly reminded me that there more to this. He told me to go back to the source, to understand why I behaved the way I did. I knew it couldn’t be healthy to always avoid going out, especially in those moments where I felt the nudge to go.

This came to a head over the past few weeks, I found myself only doing the barest minimum, and even those were not easy. I found myself spending hours doing nonsensical tasks in the hopes they will alleviate my guilt.

What about you? What have you been struggling with these last few months? For many of us, the usual culprits are:

• Fear
• Laziness/procrastination
• Anger
• Loneliness
• Sexual dissatisfaction
• Financial strain
• Familial pressures
• Singleness
• Anxiety

These struggles have kept us from living. Dare I say they have kept us from fully enjoying the freedom that we have in Christ? Probably.

Walking through my present struggle and other struggles has taught me a lot and I would like to share four of these with you.

Four steps to overcome your struggles

Before I delve into these four tips to overcome your struggles, remember that we are all different and our struggles differ, for some, we may find immediate release and for others, it will be a process, a personal and intimate journey with God and self.

1. Recognize that there is a problem

It seems trite to realize that you have a struggle but I know how easy it is to avoid confronting our human foibles. We may choose to go around with our heads buried in the sand, blaming everything but the real culprit. For instance, when we struggle with fear, we will make excuses for our actions and inactions, it will always be something else’s fault and that’s often fear talking. It paralyzes and discomfits, leaving us chasing the wind or doing nothing at all.

To recognize means to be:

1. Self-aware

We are self-aware when we examine our selves – our personality, our perceptions, and our beliefs. It means delving into the murky waters of our hearts and the undulating layers of our minds to recognize the things that make us tick.

 

1. Honest

You have probably heard that honesty is the best policy and that’s true but do you also remember the scripture that says “…they shall know the truth and the truth shall set them free.” There is first a place of knowledge, of knowing and understanding the circumstances before you, not through the distorted lens of bias and excuses but as objectively as possible.

1. Mindful of sources at play

It was through this process of self-examination that I realized that what I considered a quirk, a personality trait was so much more. I realized that it had also become a spiritual stronghold – an idea, habit keeping me from living life as I should – the abundant life my Lord and Saviour paid for.

 

2. Acknowledge that you need help

We don’t overcome struggles merely by recognizing that we are struggling since that is only the first part of the journey. Recognizing is simply a confirmation that we are on the right path and the right journey. There are other things we must know to keep us on the path and ensure we get to the right destination.

We must acknowledge that we need help that we cannot keep doing things the same way and expect a different outcome.

But it takes humility to realize that what you’re going through is more than you can handle. This is often when we should seek help.

Interestingly, it is also freeing to be able to own up to our struggles and weaknesses. To shine light on the areas of concern without regard to how we look or how we will be perceived.

As I write these words to you, I let you in on my struggle, I don’t try to paint a picture of having it all together, because I don’t. But I remind you that we are all a work-in-progress and we need to learn to admit it and stop allowing fears of ridicule and rejection stop us from correcting our mistakes and growing.

See, many of our struggles are a burden, a burden that is too heavy to bear even if we had never even realized that it was one we were carrying.

3. Address the problem with God’s help

I often tell my friends that everything is spiritual. No, I’m not trying to be ominous or fill your head with some new-age ‘Harry Potter’ type chants. I say this because when we gave our lives to Christ, we became conscripted into an eternal battle between good and evil, the battle over the flesh and everything that is not of God. This battle is spiritual with physical ramifications.

So, we are spiritual beings. Our thoughts and actions often start in the spiritual with spiritual consequences.

I will buttress this point by stating a few truths:

• Man was created in God’s image and likeness, this image and likeness relate to God as spirit Genesis 1:26.
• Our battles are often not physical, no, far before the physical is a spiritual battle.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the ruler, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Ephesians 6:12

This confirms that while we are spiritual, there are also good spiritual forces from God and evil spiritual forces.

• More so, the weapons of our warfare are not carnal (worldly, of the flesh, subject to human wisdom) but are mighty in God, able to pull down strongholds and everything — not some things – but everything, which seeks to rise against our walk with Jesus (2 Corinthians 10:4-5 paraphrased).

Perhaps, you’re a skeptic who believes I am being too spiritual, and you are right in one sense. You are right in the sense that there are Christians who have used their Christianity (or more appropriately, religiosity) as their reason for not doing what they should. Christians who will rather go to church, fast and pray when they should have been reading, if they have exams, working hard if on a job, or staying away if they are tempted. These are some of the things we call common sense but there is more to it.

 

How many times have you been aware of the right thing to do yet failed to do it?

For me, it’s every day. From eating too much, to not writing as much as I should, and of course, binging on YouTube videos and Netflix (my recent proclivities).

Which means knowing what we ought to do is not enough. We need strength, strength beyond our human and earthly capacity.

Apostle Paul, in one of his vulnerable moments, shared something I believe we can all relate with:

“… I want to do what is right but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong but I do it anyway. I have discovered this principle of life – that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably to what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind…who will free me from this life dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord…”

Romans 7:18-19, 21-23, 24 (NLT)

See, we can’t do this on our own. We need God’s help every step of the way.

In Ephesians 6, Paul drew up the armor required for our battle:

“Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s word is a weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.”

 

Ephesians 6:13-18 (MSG)

We need God’s help and sometimes, he works directly with us and at other times, he works through others. This is why we should be willing to share our struggles, not just with anyone but also with the leading of the Holy Spirit.

 

4. Determine your next course of action

I will start by saying that every spiritual principle, fruit, idea manifests physically. One of the profound truths the Holy Spirit taught me is the need to have spiritual intelligence. This is our ability to discern the right spiritual principle for that moment or issue and apply it to our problem.

This is why I don’t believe in phrases like “let us not be spiritual about it”, because I realize that once we take out the spiritual then we are handicapped because it is only with the help of the Holy Spirit that we know what is the good and perfect will of God.

He is the one who reveals the right course of action at every point.

See, the world was created on the back of spiritual principles.

“And God said, “Let there be light”, and there was light” Genesis 1:3

When God spoke those words, He activated the spiritual principle of faith, which then manifested physically in the form of light.

So also, we must not only understand the spiritual dimension of things but be able to apply it to our situation.

To Prayer

We should no longer pray because that’s what is expected of us but pray because that’s a means of communication with God. This then changes the dynamic for we realize that is in prayer that God reveals his thoughts to us and next steps. So, prayer is no longer about just reciting a long list of our needs and other nice sounding words, prayer is our connection to the spiritual, where we listen in to what God is saying and what he wants us to do.

The interesting thing about prayer is that we must keep that connection open, Apostle Paul admonishes us to “pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

For me, I liken this to having a special mobile phone, where I call only one number and leave it on all day, every day but unlike earthly devices, this connection is not affected by inclement weather.

To the word of God

It means also that we don’t read the word just to fill up our daily religious quota but we do it to receive instruction, correction so that we are trained in righteousness. See, the word of God is fire, able to refine or extinguish; it is life, able to protect or destroy. But this will only make sense if we understand the word and apply it rightly.

Jesus commanded the disciples (and us) not to be hearers of the word but doers. We must always act( and yes, waiting on the Lord is an action). But we were not called to do so in ignorance but in the knowledge of God through the Holy Spirit for he is the one that guides us into all truth (John 14).

Perhaps, I should have just titled this post – “How the Holy Spirit helps you do everything you should”. Because I believe with every bit of my being that he is the game changer in our journey to living fruitful lives. He is our one-stop shop in overcoming our struggles.

The Bible says:

“The Spirit helps in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”

Romans 8:26-27 NLT

 

Concluding words on overcoming your struggles

As I conclude, I want to remind you that you are not alone. That there is nothing that you are facing now that is new to this world or hasn’t been faced but someone somewhere.

See, life is filled with struggles but this doesn’t mean we should give up or believe we are doomed. What it means is that we should continue to hold fast to God, for everything we are lies in him.

Scriptures remind us, that it is “God who works in us to will and to do for his good purpose.” Colossians 2:13

But God will not force us, he will only work in us when we let him and that’s my prayer for you and me today: that we continue to let God in. That we allow him to fill us a new as we battle the worries and cares of this world.

I pray that these tips help you overcome your struggles in a healthy and Christ-filled way.