Why you should forgive your partner

Before you throw your pitchforks or you believe that I am encouraging you to “take whatever your partner dishes” without reacting, remember this:

“Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.”

Matthew 6:12

How often do we ask God for forgiveness?

How often does He forgive us?

One of the hardest lessons the Holy Spirit taught me is the fact that God expects us to exemplify him in all we do.

No exceptions!

Interestingly, he used the analogy of forgiveness and divorce to teach me this.

While having a conversation, with a group, about broken marriages and divorce, the Holy Spirit revealed something: I heard in my heart:

‘Do I forgive you for everything? Then you should forgive. No matter what.’

I don’t remember everything, but I know it was so clear and direct that I couldn’t speak for a moment.

I was gobsmacked by the truth of this.

We constantly ask God to forgive our many sins but are unable to extend the same grace.

I say this as one who is guilty of this practice. I say this as one who struggled to forgive people who hurt me, most especially myself.

Yet, God calls us to forgive.

 

How to make forgiveness the norm

Maybe you’re of the opinion that some things are too grievous or that the other person will take advantage of you, can I remind you of a few things from relationship tip 1  and tip 2?

1. If we believe that we are dating the person whom God has revealed to us, then we must trust that God will help us through.
2. Trying to be cautious or guarded may seem wise, but if it’s motivated by fear then it means you don’t really trust God to protect you.
3. God’s love, true love, forgives and holds no record of wrongs (see 1 Corinthians 13:4-5)

Rather than finding reasons why we can’t forgive, and trust me, there are many, I believe we need to spend more time asking God for the strength to forgive.

The reality is that forgiveness is not something our human mind or human capacity can comprehend and execute. It is a divine act and requires divine strength.

We need to recognise that forgiveness is of God.

More so, we also need to understand that marriage is a place of refinement not just for pleasure.

I also learned this the hard way.

No, I am not married, but I had inculcated the dangerous idea that if something is of God it should be easy.

But no, God is invested in our sanctification and not our comfort.

He will use every medium and season of our lives to work on our character and our understanding of Him.

Marriage will push many of your buttons and if you are not ready if you do not realise this and prepare, you will struggle.

See, divorce is not something that only happens to “certain people”. I imagine that there are many who are divorced today but never saw it coming.

I know today’s post is hitting you hard, but this is not something to mince about.

An inability to forgive and to hold grudges is a stronghold the devil has used against Christian marriages and relationships.

No more!

We take authority today and we will walk in the fullness of God’s plans for our lives.

Amen

 

PRAYER

Dear lord, I come before you with a heart hardened by pain and betrayal.

I come before you asking that you take out this heart that struggles to forgive and you give me a soft heart, a heart filled with you and aligned to your will. Build me up to live my life your way – to love unconditionally and to forgive fully. In Jesus’ name. Amen