How to handle rejection

Let’s be honest, getting rejected is one of the hardest things to accept. 

I think this is because it usually hits us in our most vulnerable place – it affects our confidence, our beliefs, and our sense of self. 

This is particularly so when it’s for something important or something we have been longing for, this could be a relationship we were hoping to take to the next level or a career progression we had been expecting.

Such rejections make us question our worth and relevance.

Well, this happened to me recently. 

I had sensed God leading me to apply for a particular project. It was something I had considered early this year but had talked myself out of it because I felt it would require too much to ask and possibly receive a no.

On a bright and sunny morning, a few months ago, I woke up with absolute certainty that I was to apply. So, I did(via email).

When I didn’t receive an acknowledgment, I followed up with a call that turned out to be one of the worst calls of my life. 

I bumbled and stumbled my way through. It was a miracle that the lady didn’t hang up.

Have you ever had one of those experiences…where your delivery is so bad, that you wish the proverbial ground would open up and swallow you whole?

That was how I felt.

After the call, I was disappointed in myself and wanted to call a friend to moan about it, but felt God leading me to pray. While praying, I got the idea to apologize for my inarticulate call. 

Miraculously, the lady responded to my message and informed me that their project person would follow up with my request. I spoke to this person the next day and was advised to continue with my application. You can imagine my elation. I believed that God had made a way for me.

However, a couple of weeks later, my application was rejected.

When I read their email, I burst into tears. It was one of the hardest emails I’ve ever had to read. I couldn’t tear my blurry vision from the words – “we are sorry…” I kept pulling my laptop closer as if this would change their words. 

A part of me couldn’t believe it! I had been so sure it was what God wanted for me. 

But then something amazing happened. 

My tears dried up as my mind started to conceive of other possibilities. For one thing, I had waited a while to hear back and it was a relief to get a decision even if it wasn’t one I hoped for. 

More so, I noticed that after the initial shock, I was okay and not as sad. By the next hour, I was having dinner and chatting with my housemates. I even called my mum to inform her, and by the next day, I had sent an email thanking the project guys for their decision.

Imagine that! 

It was clear that I had handled the rejection well and I could only attribute it to one source – God.

His grace was evident all through the process and more than sufficient. I have come to believe that rejection was part of his plan. More so, I believe he taught me two important lessons:

1. To be courageous and fearless in pursuing the things he has placed on my heart. By his grace, I can no longer allow the fear of rejection to stop me from taking a leap. ?
2. That getting rejected is not the end of the world. No matter who it’s from and how it is communicated.

 

A lesson in dealing with rejection

I shared this long and winding story to remind you that no situation, no matter how devastating it may seem at the onset, has the power to control us. 

We have been given the incredible privilege to control our own thoughts and actions. We get to determine how we react to rejections and refusals. 

Anyone who has achieved great things will probably tell you that rejection is par for the course. It is one of the most predictable components and often helped them work harder and better.

It has certainly helped me.

The process of overcoming our trials is what makes us stronger and builds our character.

Do you remember that scripture that calls us to “Count it all joy when you face trials of many kinds..” (James 1:2)?

The growth happens in our trials.

Interestingly, I have learned that at the heart of a fear of rejection is pride. It is often our pride that makes this perceived rejection hurt so much.

For many of us, it makes it hard to look past the no or refusal. We keep reliving what was said or unsaid. But this is a snare of the devil.  

We must remember that no one owes us anything, we are, rather, called to make the most of life and the opportunities we have. 

Have you received any rejections lately? 

Perhaps, you applied for your dream job or to attend your dream school but you were not accepted.

Sis, this is my call to you to dry your tears and thank God for the experience. 

While it wasn’t what you hoped for, trust that God, in His infinite mercy, will work it all out for your good. I know this will not be easy but letting go of the pain and hurt is one of the best things you can do for your sanity and peace.

Trust God and allow Him to comfort and strengthen you as only he can.

 

Life after a rejection

Whatever happens, I pray you don’t stop pursuing the things that matter to you because of a fear of rejection. The truth is that the more things you do and create, the greater the likelihood of criticism and rejection.

Don’t hide!

Bloom!

You’ve got this and God’s got you!

For more, check out this funny and inspiring TEDTalk on rejection.