At this point, we can all probably recite the words of Proverbs 4:23:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Proverbs 4:23 NIV
It’s a powerful verse that teaches on boundaries, but I believe it has not always been stewarded well. Many times, we look at this verse from the lens of the world and not the kingdom.
Here’s what I mean:
When the Bible calls us to guard, we can not guard with logic but by the spirit.
We guard with wisdom and discernment.
Logic may ask us to build walls so we never feel such pain or shame again.
It may ask us to excommunicate people fully from our lives based on past experience.
It may justify to us holding on to grudges and unforgiveness.
It may excuse our tendency to envy and bitterness. Especially when we believe we are more deserving.
Yet, as spiritual beings, we are to approach the call to guarding our hearts a little differently.
Here are four ways to stay tender and whole, even when the ache is real:
1. Be Honest With God About What You’re Feeling
Don’t spiritualize your emotions. Lay them bare before Him.
“Lord, this is hard. I want to be joyful, but I feel overlooked. Help me bring this to You instead of stuffing it down or letting it fester.”
This simple acknowledgment can have a profound impact on your life, and shift your perspective.
2. Watch the Story You’re Telling Yourself
I read something the other day that has stayed with me. It says:
“No experience in itself is a cause of our success or failure…but the meaning we give to them.” (Courage to be disliked).
It’s a powerful reminder that we all have the incredible gift of choice. God gave man the power to choose, and it is these choices that determine our results or outcomes.
For instance, in a separate post I talked about how we can suffer envy when we someone else gets what we’ve been praying for.
Comparison always comes with a false story, and you need to check your heart and your words to ensure you don’t have the wrong narratives building stories in there.
She’s not more worthy.
You’re not being punished.
God hasn’t forgotten you.
Interrupt those narratives with truth:
“The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; Yes, I have a good inheritance” (Psalm 16:6)
“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11)
3. Celebrate Others Without Losing Yourself
You can celebrate someone’s blessing without invalidating your waiting.
You can say “I’m happy for her” and still say, “Lord, I’m hopeful for me.” These two things can co-exist and it’s doesn’t in anyway diminish who you are nor is it something to be ashamed of.
But if celebrating feels too hard right now, pray instead of pretending. Ask God to soften your heart without forcing you to perform joy.
4. Keep Living Fully
One thing I have noticed is that bitterness shrinks your world, while joy expands it. Do you know something else? Joy is attractive and bitterness is repulsive.
There is no benefit to becoming bitter, none whatsoever.
If you’re drowning in feelings of bitterness and feeling othered, go to God. Ask the Holy Spirit to carry out the much needed surgery.
Ask Him to take out the heart of stone and despair and give you a heart of flesh, pliant to the power of love and the word of God.
Most especially, I pray that you refocus your heart. The Bible says that where your treasure is, there also your heart is.
Move your heart back to where it belongs – in the bosom of our Lord. Seek and focus on God. That looks like talking to God always. He is the best buddy you can ever have. Continually share your feelings.
Enjoy life’s moments and the beauty all around you.
Keep laughing. Keep building.
Not as a distraction from what you want, but as a declaration of trust in the God who is still writing your story.
Let’s Talk:
How is your heart looking right now? What are the areas you’re currently navigating?
Leave a comment or message me privately, I’d love to hear from you and pray with you.
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