How to build up your relationship.

In yesterday’s post, we discussed how our thought patterns affect our actions, and we used Simi’s story to illustrate this (you can read it here).

Today, we discuss the power of not only thinking positively but speaking positively.

Have you ever met people who always seem to complain about their partners?

When you’re around them, you can’t help but hear about their problems and the many ways their significant other has failed to live up to their expectations.

You may be surprised to learn that some of these people are not even aware of  the import of their words.

They may feel they are only pouring out their heart, but the problem is that the sharing seldom focuses on the good and loving things. It paints a picture of hopelessness and unhappiness, which is reinforced as they keep focusing on these things.

The Bible has a lot to say about our words. It says:

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat of its fruit.”

Proverbs 18:21

 

This is both literal and figurative.

Our words can crush a person’s spirit and it can also build them up.

Our words can lead to the end of something or the beginning of something else, it can bring life or death.

When our Lord and Saviour cursed the fig tree and it withered (See Mark 11:13-25). It didn’t die because it stopped receiving water or sun, but because powerful words were spoken over it that the rain and sun couldn’t overturn.

Jesus went on to make certain declarations about the power of our words in the kingdom. He said:

Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

Matthew 18:18

What are you binding with your words?

 

Speak Life in your relationship!

So, what have you been saying about your relationship?

What words have you used to describe your significant other and the status of your married or dating life?

Perhaps, you are tempted to focus on all the things that are not working. I once heard a statement that resonated with me, the preacher said something along the lines of:

‘Speak to the king in him and you will see him arise but speak to the fool and you will get a fool…every man has a king and a fool. which part will you focus on?’

 

You may be thinking, why do I have to speak to the king or what does that even mean?

You may even believe there is a burden on women in relationships.

Firstly, this is not about gender but applies to everyone.

The Bible says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

What you say matters.

 

Interestingly, I recently read a book, The Surprising Secrets of Happy Marriages, by Shaunti Feldhahn. The author found that when couples keep score of the good things each one is doing and recognise or compliment them on this, it strengthens their bond and fosters more selflessness.

Our brain tends to want to keep score, how about we keep score of the good and we celebrate the good?

When the Bible says count your blessings, there is a reason for this. Having a heart of gratitude not only improves your attitude but also impacts your actions and even your health. A grateful heart is good medicine.

Speak life.

 

Declaration:

I declare that my relationship is blessed. I declare that my partner and I are of the Lord. We will continue to work together and not against each other. Our relationship shall be fruitful and a blessing to all those who are connected with us.

We shall walk together in unity and love and continue to shine God’s light and represent His kingdom. Together, we will overcome the fiery darts of the enemy and remain a victorious army of our Lord. Our children shall be a heritage from the Lord and a reward. Amen