How to stay positive when things don’t work out

“Positivity and true openness are the compasses we need in knowing who we are and who we want to be.”

How do you stay positive in the midst of negativity and difficulties? That was a question I asked myself recently.

We are constantly told to surround ourselves with people and things that build us up and make us better. A recent incident reminded me of why it is so important.

It all happened at the birthday party of a notable gentleman. This was a gathering of ‘who is who’ in my community, with all the pump and fizz such a party dictates.

When I attend these sort of events, I spend time eating the sumptuous food and starring at all the “important” people I would normally not see.

This day was no different, there was enough food to feed several armies and I was not shy of partaking in this bounty. You must understand that I had a responsibility to reduce the possibility of wasted food 🙂

But that’s not what this post is about, while the food was nice, as it always is, this particular party was a memorable one for the wrong reasons:

What happened

• I misplaced the access cards between the car and the access gate, thankfully, they still let us in after a lot of explanation.

• I knew one of the kids of the celebrant and had hoped to sit with her and her friends but got a polite cold shoulder. I somehow persisted but it was not pretty.

• Found out(when I got back home) that my makeup made me look like a scarecrow and way older than I was. We ladies know that this is never a good thing except when you’re 15 and trying to prove you’re old enough.

• Caught myself staring into space a few times and wondering what I was doing at the event.

• Apparently, my outfit was not well regarded. I didn’t feel too bad about this one as I really loved the dress and it didn’t really matter if no one else did.

One saving grace from the event was that I met a friend from school so we used that time to catch up. Nonetheless, I was itching to leave, I felt as though I had not only overstayed my welcome but shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

When I got home that night, I tried to take stock of the events of the day and do you know what I realised? It wasn’t that bad. Let me explain:

How to stay positive: Lessons from the incident

• Wearing horrible makeup is really not the end of the world. Most of us have had such days and we usually learn from it.

• The celebrant’s daughter didn’t owe me anything. It wasn’t up to her to make me comfortable at the event especially when you consider that we were mere acquaintances. It was probably unfair of me to expect more from her. While we had been chummy a few years before, the fact that we hadn’t spoken in a bit would have made my expectation of a warm welcome hard.

• Misplacing the access cards was bad but not the worst thing that could have happened. So, I may have been turned back at the gate and that may have been annoying but is not necessarily a bad thing.

• Next time, I can make the choice to either honour such invitations or not go. This remains my choice and a right though I should also consider the pros and cons of my decision.

How to stay positive: the outcomes 

I shared this story to remind us that we have to look on the bright side. Many times, we are so hard on ourselves and feel like it really is the end of the world. But remember, you are just a tiny speck (God still loves you, though) on the face of the earth.

There will always be incidents we are not happy with or we find highly embarrassing. Rather than spend time bemoaning your actions, how about you find the humour in it. This makes it more interesting and reduces your bitter pill and regret. Even more so, how about you consider the lessons therein. There is always one lurking around.

During my ruminations, I remembered one of my favourite scriptures:

Romans 8:28 (NKJV)

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.”

That is all inclusive. Not some things but ‘all things’. If we love God and do his will then everything we experience will work for our good. How cool is that!

To help us check our attitude; I have created The Positivity Checklist. You can sign up to join our tribe and receive the checklist.

In Closing

I want to implore you to join me in my quest to stop worrying. It is something I keep saying and I’m sure you’ve noticed how hard it can be to stop.

Our ability to stay positive in the midst of total chaos and collapse not only sets us apart but will help in crafting a more enjoyable life where we are not tied down by focusing on the things that are not working but on those that are.

Don’t forget that those who put their trust in the Lord will not be put to shame. He knows the plans he has for you and it will all work out splendidly.

Need more? Do check out this post on the attributes of today’s Christian woman.

How do you stay positive when things are not going according to plan?  Please share your story.