Letter to the single girl who feels unloved and forgotten

Dear one,

I know you see them, the couples, the newly weds, all those who seem to be in love and have it all.

You see the beauty around you and wonder why your life is different. Why you are all alone? Why no one sees you or wants you?

In those moments, it’s easy to think you don’t matter.

After all, you have been working at your office for 2years now and none of the guys have asked you out. Not even the ones you would have turned down.

You spend most weekends indoors, moping around, eating too much and wandering through social media profiles, lost in the world that is not yours.

Why me, you ask, why is my case always different?!  

You wonder why they don’t they see you.

Why you are “easily forgotten” even amongst your friends and family. They don’t always remember to check in or invite you out.

These thoughts haunt you and remind you of all you’re not.

But, is this really true?!

Are you really alone and unwanted?

Many times, these thoughts are amplified by hurtful experiences and struggles to find meaning to our lives.

Sis, have you ever wondered why you feel alone and unloved?

Have you ever wondered why no one checks in on you?

I ask because I was in your shoes. I believed that I did not matter.

I believed that people didn’t want me around.

I allowed my childhood insecurities cloud my judgment.

The fear of rejection stopped me from truly living. I was quick to jump to conclusions and would flee at the slightest issue.

I believed I was all I had but that was a lie, a lie that held me back.

I need you to know that you are not alone, unloved or forgotten.

You have the most important person by your side.

The one who says he will never leave nor forsake you. He is the one who must always be your first and your last.

 

If you’re like I was then, you may agree that God can help you but you may also believe that God is not there physically and you would be right.

But, God is the only one that will always be there.

Even when you are in the bathroom, he’s there, even while sleeping, he’s there. Think about it, a husband or friend will not always be there, they will have to live their lives and be independent of you.

Don’t let the lies of the devil dissuade you.

Don’t let him confuse you or distract you.

When I look at you, I see sadness, you look lost and unhappy and it is clear the evil one had been at work.

He has been sowing seeds of shame and negativity.

Telling you that you are nothing and no one wants you.

This is what he has been doing since the beginning of time. He did it to me and he will do it to others. But I need you to know there is no atom of truth to what he says. 

You matter to God and that’s all that counts. Your life is too precious to be wasted. To be forgotten or misused. 

Jesus reminds us that the ‘thief comes to kill, to steal and to destroy but he comes to give us live to the full’ and this is the truth you have to hold on to. (see John ‪10:10)

Six Things for the girl who feels unloved and forgotten

In those moments of fear and shame, those moments when you feel so alone and unloved, I need you to remember these six things:

1. Pray

Speak to God.  Let him know how you feel, tell him your fears of not having people around you, your fears that you will cling to those who come near and scare them away.

 

2. Remember that your identity is in Christ not the world. 

You are a daughter of the Most-High God. He created you specially for his purpose and pleasure. You are unique, one of a kind and have been given gifts and abilities to help you live out God’s purpose for your life.

 

3. Spend time in God’s word 

God has said so many beautiful things about you and you must go back to his word to encourage your heart and build up your strength. Here are a few scriptures for you:

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

 

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths.”

Proverbs 3:5

4. Be friendly

Make time for others. Stop trying to figure everything out, you will only wear yourself out and make yourself sad. Friendship is a two-way street, be good to others, help where you can. Move from a ‘me mindset’ to a ‘we mindset’.

5. Trust that God will give you all you need

Remember that it is God who gives good gifts to his children, trust him to give you all that you need right on time.  Focus on God and be patient. Even when you faith wavers, hold on strong and allow him to do incredible things in your life, as only he can.

“Delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Proverbs 37.4

6. Stop stalling, live your life now.  

You have just one life one opportunity on earth. Make it count!

 

“Be very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise, making the most of ever opportunity, because the days are evil.”

 

Ephesians 5:15-16

Sis, never forget that you are truly loved by God. He is working things out for your good but needs you to trust him and hold on. This is one of the hardest parts of living our Christian lives but it is always worth it.

 

Can’t wait to see you bloom.  

 

With lots of love,

Chioma ?

 

Please read these posts for more encouragement:

• God knows what you’re going through
• Prayer tips for the woman who longs to pray
• A single woman’s prayer