How to grow my romantic relationship.

What kind of relationship do you want to have?

Do you know the kinds of things you long to see in your relationship?

Here’s the truth: many of us do not know what we want in a relationship. We have not been able to articulate these things in words.

If I asked you the above questions, would you have a clear idea of what it is or would you say something like:

“I want a happy marriage and loving home. And I want ‘so-so’ number of children…”

Or you may say,

“I don’t want my husband to cheat on me and I don’t want a man who doesn’t work or is lazy.”

The above responses are not bad, per se, it shows you have some idea of what you do want and do not want. However, it’s not very clear.

What does a happy marriage mean to you? You may be surprised that happiness is a relative term, and so is loving. What constitutes love in another’s relationship may not be in yours.

In addition, when asked these sorts of questions, we may end up focusing on what we do not want rather than what we want.

When Our Lord and Saviour asked blind Bartimaeus if he wanted to be healed, rather than answer the simple question, he goes off on a tangent of negativity. See, Christ was acknowledging the man’s need for healing, but the man was more interested in all that had befallen him. (See Mark 10:46-52)

You may be wondering what this story has to do with your relationship. That story is a reminder to focus on what matters.

Cultivate the right things in your relationship.

To cultivate is to “foster the growth of…to improve by labour, care, or study.” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).

Today’s post will be more practical than expository. I want you to take the next few minutes (or hours) to work out the following:

1. 7 key things you want to see in your relationship (these may be things that cut across – character traits, family life, career, parenting, finances, living situation, etc.,). Be as specific as you can.
2. What do you need to do to actualise each one of these things? To the extent possible, focus on things that concern you, not your partner.
3. What steps do you need to take to actualise these things?

In tomorrow’s post, I will be sharing more about this topic, but for now please spend some time in a contemplative review of your relationship.

May the God of all comfort, power and grace lead and direct you through this process. Amen

 

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Freedom from Addiction

Have you struggled with masturbation and watching pornography?

Is this a stronghold you have battled with for years? Maybe you don’t think it is an addiction, but you know that you tend to spend an inordinate amount of time on porn sites. If so, please watch this. 

I pray that our God will intervene and you will receive his permanent freedom in this area. Amen