Fifteen Date Ideas for Engaged Couples

So, you’re engaged! Congratulations! This is fantastic news!

Marriage is a wonderful gift, and an incredible opportunity to do life with someone special.

But the reality is that there are things that often occur before you say ‘I do’.

For one thing, you both need to continue to learn more about each other, this could be through pre-marital counseling or mutual conversations. You may also be planning your wedding, during this time, which may mean spending an inordinate amount of time together.

All these interactions can heighten the emotions and push you to express your feeling through physical intimacy such as kissing, making out, and finally sex.

You may even find that no matter how hard you try, you keep fighting the urge to indulge in those caresses and sex.

There is also the tendency to justify your actions by claiming you guys are almost married, so can do these things. While I am not yet engaged, I do understand the pressures engaged couples go through.

 

What to do after you get engaged

The great news is there are quite a few activities you can do together once you are engaged. These activities will help you stave off idle time and the propensity towards making out and sex.

However, I should state that while these activities can help, the ball still rests with both of you. You both must be committed to respecting each other’s boundaries and values.

More so, it is important to remind you that the temptation is especially strong, at this time, and the only way to overcome is to continually seek the strength and help of the Holy Spirit.

You have probably been told this during your counseling sessions, but I wish to reiterate the need to have Christ at the center of your relationship. I know this is one of those things we hear, and may even say, but it is about doing.

It is about aligning our actions to reflect our beliefs and values.

Our Lord and Saviour remind us that:

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”

John 15:5 (NKJV)

This calls us to give Christ his rightful place in our lives. When you both continually do so, he will lead you towards a God-ordained, and Christ-centered marriage.

One of my favorite authors, Leslie Ludy, had this to say:

“In our premarriage days, Eric and I spent the majority of our time on eternal things, not temporal ones. We weren’t consumed with pop culture, but with learning more about God and growing closer to Him. We’d studied Christian biographies and gleaned wisdom from the lives of great men and women who had gone before us.”

Leslie Ludy, The Set-apart Woman

Amazing, right? I must confess that many of our Christian relationships probably look nothing like Leslie’s (I know my previous relationships didn’t), but I believe that her words remind us of what is possible with God.

15 amazing activities for engaged couples

Here are some great activities you can immediately inculcate into your life right now.

Remember that getting married is not a competition neither does it breed room for arrogance. It is rather a union that makes room for love and grace to grow.

I pray that these activities will bring you closer in an edifying way and will be a seamless transition to married life.

“Let all that you do be done with love.”

1 Corinthians 16:14 (NKJV)

1. Volunteer in your community

This is a big one. There are so many volunteering opportunities out there depending on your interests, availability, and values. Perhaps you have always wanted to work with groups that help widows or to teach children.

Whatever it may be, you both can use the time you often spend together volunteering with a charity or cause that is dear to you. If you both have different interests, you can alternate or find a middle ground.

 

    2. Work together

I believe the pandemic has widened our perspectives on what is possible in the area of work. It has allowed much flexibility in where we work and what we do.

You and your fiancé can consider working together, this may mean working out of the same office space or starting a business.

 

   3. Take a cooking class

Food is a big part of every human being’s life, whether we like to acknowledge this or not. It can also be a source of friction, particularly for newly wedded couples. Taking a cooking class together is a chance to build this area of your life, and of course, learn something new (or refresh your memory). I should also mention that you will often get to eat what you make, so a win-win all around.

  4. Read together

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

Dr. Seuss

Reading good books is an incredible way to spend your time. Discussing what you each learned even better. Through this exercise, you can create your very own two-person book club. In the earlier quote from Leslie Ludy, she mentioned reading Christian biographies with her then-boyfriend/fiancé. I can only imagine how this must have enriched their conversations and relationships.

As someone who has read a few Christian biographies (thanks to Mrs. Ludy’s recommendations), I can tell you many are life-changing. But reading should not be restricted to just Christian books, it can include business books, personal development books or even great fiction books. Just let the spirit lead you.

 

  5. Join interest groups/clubs

The list of groups and clubs you can join is endless.

This could be sports clubs, dance clubs, writing groups, biking groups amongst others. The idea is really to build your interests and networks.

 

  6. Start a pet project

“Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success.”

Henry Ford

This can be a passion project or a dream you have always wanted to achieve. This period of your life is a great time to take risks, and what better person to help with this than the one you will be spending the rest of your life with?

 

  7. Exercise together

“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”

2 John 1:2

We are custodians of our body, and doubly so when we get married, for we are telling God that we will take care of this earthly home for our soul, and help our souse do the same. Exercise is an amazing way to do this. You can sign up to gyms, run races together and build a healthy and wholesome routine that strengthens your body and your mind.

 

  8. Learn together

“There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination=, and finish with education. The whole of life. From the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.”

Jiddu Krishnamurti

Find opportunities to learn together. Like many of the activities listed here, it gives you both a chance to know more about each other while also building your skills. There are a slew of things you can learn. Here are a few ideas: languages, musical instruments, web design, writing, public speaking, topical issues, amongst others.

 

  9. Serve others

“Let your light so shine before me, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Matthew 5:16

Are you part of a Christian group, church, or worship center?

You could find opportunities to serve together in these circles. Serving together also doesn’t have to be limited to these places. It could be a one-ff opportunity to serve the homeless, visit hospitals, help those providing these services.

 

  10. Travel with purpose

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Ephesians 2:10

At this point, you may both want to travel together, to go on mini-breaks and vacations. That’s nice, but it could be so much more. If you do want to travel together, then travel with purpose, go on a mission trip, or travel to a place where you can volunteer or help. You could also travel to attend a conference or event that will build you up. This is not the time for romantic trips, that can come after “I do”.

 

  11. Pray together

“Prayer lays hold of God’s plan and becomes the link between his will and its accomplishment on earth. Amazing things happen, and we are given the privilege of being the channels of the Holy Spirit’s prayer.”

Elisabeth Elliot

Prayer is one of the best spiritual exercises a Christian can adopt. Even more so for a couple. While this activity seems self-explanatory, I will reiterate that praying together will build you individually and collectively. Similarly, praying for others, and standing in the gap for your loved ones, and community can bring opportunities for God to work through both of you.

 

  12. Write a book

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Write something…

You can write a book about your love story (like this couple) or about some other area of mutual interest. The great thing about books is that they serve as a record. They give us a chance to share our knowledge, lessons, and perspectives with others. Basically, writing is a wonderful endeavor that blesses us and others.

  13. Get outdoors

One of the most practical Christian dating tips I ever learned was to ‘spend time outdoors and in unconfined spaces.’ This limits opportunities (and the temptation) to kiss and make out. While I agree that we are all different, I also know it is often foolhardy to meet up alone, in each other’s homes.

Go on walks, hiking, etc.

 

  14. Create things together

“He has filled them with skill to do all kinds of work as engravers, designers, embroiders in blue, purple and scarlet yarn and fine linen, and weavers – all of them skilled workers and designers.”

Exodus 35:35

You are children of the greatest creator the world has ever seen or will ever see, bask in this, and learn to exercise your creative muscles. I believe God has placed his creativity into every one of us and he can help us create new and wonderful things. This could be art, music, technology, clothing, etc.

  15. Mentor younger couples

This may seem like a weird activity but one thing I have learned is that our marriage is not about us. If we believe that marriage is a gift, then we must continually ascribe this blessing to the giver of good gifts.

Even though you are not yet married, you have something to share with couples who are still at the beginning stages of their relationship. The fact remains that there are many couples who are dating but don’t even understand what they are getting into.

They may be focused on feelings and the romance of it all, and not fully appreciate that getting engaged and married is a lifetime commitment of love, sacrifice, and forgiveness.

 

How to have a Purposeful Engagement

Reading through the above activities, you may have noted a running theme of purposefulness and meaning. I believe we live happier and more fulfilling lives when we do things with purpose. This is no more true for the period between singleness and married life.

Today, I encourage you to redefine how you manage the rest of your single season, and more so, that you use this time to build each other up in the lord. Amen

Do you have any particular activities you do together? Please share in the comments section.